I wrote a sucky story! Are you proud of me?

Yeah. There was this writing contest on this website, so I figured I'd join. There were six possible prompts you could get. Throwing dice decided your fate. I got this:

Uuuh...so...apparently I can't post the image. But here is a link.

Anyway, the story is really cliche and poorly worded and short and not suspenseful at all and just generally fails at life. I wrote it in half an hour at 2 in the morning. What do you expect from me? And I have nothing better to do with my life than to share my fail story with you all. So, here we go!

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There's only one problem with being a mad genius: It doesn't exactly pay the bills. That's how I wound up trying to force a needle into a squealing five-year-old's arm. I had only the best intentions, I assure you. You see, I became a doctor as a matter of survival. The expenses of villining can be...extravagant. Besides, “Dr. Diabolical” sounds a lot cooler than "Mr. Diabolical" or "That Diabolical Guy", don't you think?
"Will you hold still?!"
"You'll never take me alive!" I was growing weary of this fight. In one quick movement, I gripped the little girl's shoulders, leaned in close to her face, and whispered, “At this point, I couldn’t care less if I gave this shot to you alive or dead, but either way you’re going to have it. You’d better hold still if you value your life.”
“Dr. D?” A nurse had appeared at the door.
“I’m busy.”
“You have another patient waiting for you in your office.”
“...fine.” After jamming the needle into the little girl’s arm as hard as I could, I set about the mundane task of checking in on my next patient. What would it be this time? Some teenager who can’t move his hands anymore because he played too many video games? Some stupid kid who swallowed a penny? Yawning, I opened the door.

I almost dropped my clipboard.

Sitting there, in my office, waiting for me...my arch nemesis: Admiral Admirable! I ducked behind the door, grinning from ear to ear. I couldn't believe it. Months were spent trying to track this guy down and here he comes, skipping in to my office on a silver platter! Well, actually he was sitting on the paper doctors use to keep things sanitary, but it might as well have been silver. After hastily putting on a surgical mask to hide my face and smoothing back my distinctive green hair, I walked boldly into the room.
"Are you Dr. D?" The fool had no idea.
"Yes. I'm Dr. D. Now, what seems to be the problem?"
"Last night, I think I broke my wrist saving a bus full of young children! That fiend, Dr. Diabolical, was trying to vaporize them with a high-powered laser!" Funny, that's not how I remembered it. As far as I recalled, he had been trying to hide behind the bus and had tripped on the way.
"That's very admirable, Admiral."
"Yes, it is. It's a good thing I was there."
"A good thing, indeed. Now, does this hurt?" I jammed my pen as hard as I could into the darkest part of his bruised wrist.
"GAH! Yes!"
"I see...and this?"
"OUCH!"
"How about this?"
"STOP!" I smiled behind my mask.
"I'm sorry, was I being too rough?"
"Nothing's too rough for me!"
"Good...so, Admiral. I'm sure it must be frightening to be a super hero, what with all the villains about. Tell me about it."
"Fear? I don't even know what fear is!"
"Don't know what fear is? Well, what about that brilliant man who broke your wrist?"
"Dr. Diabolical? Oh, please. That guy couldn't smart his way out of a paper baaAAAUGH!"
"Ooops. I slipped."
"Anyway, That Diabolical Guy isn't nearly as smart as me. He should be glad I teeched him a lesson!"
"Yes...well, I think we should take an x-ray."
Hopping on the scale, I flipped the light switch three times and waited for my secret laboratory to emerge behind the medicine cabinet. "Follow me."

I thought the Admiral's eyes were going to pop out of their sockets as he walked behind me through the lab. "This is where we do our testing. We put the x-ray here so that it wouldn't give the workers cancer. Take off your shirt and lie down on this table."
This was just too easy.
"Now hold still while I strap you in."
"Why are you strapping me in so tight?"
"To make sure you don't move. No matter what happens."
My hands were beginning to shake in anticipation as I stuck monitors to his bare chest.
"What are those for?" His eyes were beginning to darken with realization.
"I want to hear every. last. heartbeat."
"This seems a little extravagant fo-mmph" by the time I had covered his mouth, my breath was coming in uncontrollable bursts.
"For an x-ray? Maybe a little. But I want to make sure nothing goes wrong."
He had realized his mistake. The heartbeat sped to an alarmingly satisfying rate. "Oh, dear." The surgical mask fluttered to the ground, revealing my manic grin.

"It appears we're going to have to operate."




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Yeah. Reading it again I'm having second thoughts about posting it at all. It really does fail. But, oh well. It was fun to write. I love prompts.

So, yeah. That's all.