Dream World!

So, yesterday I went to Dream World (amusement park) with Britta, Isa, and Ben. It was intense. First thing we see: Tour bus full of Chinese people. Second thing we see: Some guy with his socks pulled way up. Third thing we see: Not a ticket booth. There were these windows but they were all empty. So, as I liberally applied sunscreen, Ben wandered over to this little room labeled 'Information'. Yeah, you buy tickets there. Not the ticket booth. Don't be silly. It was an awful lot less for Thais, so we spent a while scrambling for our school IDs before we finally had the little bracelet things on. Then, it was time to enter!

We ran over to the entrance where there were these guys wearing bright orange and blue outfits standing under a big gate with all kinds of cogs and gears and castle things and other cartoony stuff was spinning around in greeting. As we walked through the gate, one of the guys in the oh-so-fashionable outfit greeted Britta with an oh-so-fashionable "Hi, beautiful"

Feeling oh-so-creeped out, we wandered into the love garden which looked rather suspiciously Alice and Wonderland-esque. Cute couples sat on benches taking cute pictures full of cute little hearts. And then there was some fat kid sitting alone on one of the benches and grimacing at his mother's camera.

The rides opened at 10:00. By which I mean, we went in at 10 and didn't get to ride anything until 10:30. The first ride we went on was called the Spider, and it was uber-fun. It was especially fun to watch the guy in the cart next to Britta and I frowning and glaring at us the whole time.

Then we went to Space Mountain, a clear rip of Disney Land's Space Mountain. It was quite fun and dark. And we screamed when these suddenly lit up above our heads unexpectedly. We went three times in a row before the Chinese tour group came and got in line. Then we left for this orange roller coaster (except, I could have gotten this chronologically wrong. Hard to say). It was the kind where you have your feet dangling and it was pretty fun. But the guy who was strapping people in kept staring at me with this creepy smile.

Then we saw this haunted house. We spent, like, an hour trying to convince Ben to go in, but he refused. So, Isa, Britta, and I went in feeling oh-so-brave. Until we saw that we would actually have to walk. Britta chickened out and left Isa and I to fend for ourselves. It was what you'd expect from a theme park haunted house. The gears of the fake monsters were louder than the scary music. But the fact that we were walking creeped us out. But in a different way than the entrance guy and the orange roller coaster guy. That was a more...slimy creepiness.

And the Pirate Ship! I love those things! But the second time we went on, there was this weird guy on the other side of the ship who, every time the ship would go up, made the sound of a howler monkey on steroids.

Then we went on the Super Splash! Our very own Splash Mountain rip-off...but shorter. Man, we got really wet. And then we went and stood where the wave would hit us when the other people would ride down. It was a big wave. Really. But we did miss out on the Grand Canyon (Rattlesnake Rapids for you Utahns). It was closed. Which sucks because I love those things.

And, of course, the FAIL RAIL! It was this monorail that went the speed of The Heber Creeper on a bad day. It was ridiculous. And the compartments were the size of a computer screen so our knees jammed into the seat across form us. It took us on a lovely tour so that we could see the air conditioners, a bucket, and the broken down Grand Canyon. And then there was the driver. He kept staring at us with these HUGE eyes. At this point I began to wonder if creepiness was in the job description. So, naturally, we went on the Fail Rail twice.

Other activities included the Giant House (A house that was giant. I think it was supposed to be the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk), an action show (there were these guys in SWAT uniforms and explosions and other testosterone filled stuff. I got endless amusement out of the graffiti on the wall. They had all these 'cool' things that made you think of rugged and hard core. And then there was a door (secret hideout entrance, perhaps?) with this stick-figure-esque thing with a mask appropriately labeled, 'bad'), and shaved ice (banana flavor was magical).

But the crowning moment for me was Snow Town. It cost an extra 150 baht, but was so worth it. It was basically this big fridge with ice that would pass as snow because the top was shaved a bit. According to the thermometer, it was -3.5 degrees Celsius. So it was jam-packed with all these people shivering in the corner. They had a little tubing hill that I just couldn't get enough of. Except at the bottom, there were these guys who were supposed to stop you from running into the wall. But they clearly haven't had a lot of experience with ice so whenever I went down, I either ran into the wall or had them stop me so forcefully I'd fly out of my tube. And the boots were funny. You had to wear their boots, because obviously, going into snow, you need boots. Except the boots were rain boots. Absolutely positively NO insulation. All boots are not created equal. I haven't been able to get such a full breath of air since the last time I had a winter, two years ago. I could have stayed all day. But everybody else was getting cold so we only stayed for, like, five minutes.

Then, at the end of the day, we realized how small the park was and how we'd already been on everything five times. So, Isa and I sat on a bench staring at people as they passed to see their reactions until it was time to go home. Ben and I went to Britta's and ate AMERICAN TOP RAMON!

It was the closest to an American day I've had in a long time.