I wrote a sucky story! Are you proud of me?

Yeah. There was this writing contest on this website, so I figured I'd join. There were six possible prompts you could get. Throwing dice decided your fate. I got this:

Uuuh...so...apparently I can't post the image. But here is a link.

Anyway, the story is really cliche and poorly worded and short and not suspenseful at all and just generally fails at life. I wrote it in half an hour at 2 in the morning. What do you expect from me? And I have nothing better to do with my life than to share my fail story with you all. So, here we go!

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There's only one problem with being a mad genius: It doesn't exactly pay the bills. That's how I wound up trying to force a needle into a squealing five-year-old's arm. I had only the best intentions, I assure you. You see, I became a doctor as a matter of survival. The expenses of villining can be...extravagant. Besides, “Dr. Diabolical” sounds a lot cooler than "Mr. Diabolical" or "That Diabolical Guy", don't you think?
"Will you hold still?!"
"You'll never take me alive!" I was growing weary of this fight. In one quick movement, I gripped the little girl's shoulders, leaned in close to her face, and whispered, “At this point, I couldn’t care less if I gave this shot to you alive or dead, but either way you’re going to have it. You’d better hold still if you value your life.”
“Dr. D?” A nurse had appeared at the door.
“I’m busy.”
“You have another patient waiting for you in your office.”
“...fine.” After jamming the needle into the little girl’s arm as hard as I could, I set about the mundane task of checking in on my next patient. What would it be this time? Some teenager who can’t move his hands anymore because he played too many video games? Some stupid kid who swallowed a penny? Yawning, I opened the door.

I almost dropped my clipboard.

Sitting there, in my office, waiting for me...my arch nemesis: Admiral Admirable! I ducked behind the door, grinning from ear to ear. I couldn't believe it. Months were spent trying to track this guy down and here he comes, skipping in to my office on a silver platter! Well, actually he was sitting on the paper doctors use to keep things sanitary, but it might as well have been silver. After hastily putting on a surgical mask to hide my face and smoothing back my distinctive green hair, I walked boldly into the room.
"Are you Dr. D?" The fool had no idea.
"Yes. I'm Dr. D. Now, what seems to be the problem?"
"Last night, I think I broke my wrist saving a bus full of young children! That fiend, Dr. Diabolical, was trying to vaporize them with a high-powered laser!" Funny, that's not how I remembered it. As far as I recalled, he had been trying to hide behind the bus and had tripped on the way.
"That's very admirable, Admiral."
"Yes, it is. It's a good thing I was there."
"A good thing, indeed. Now, does this hurt?" I jammed my pen as hard as I could into the darkest part of his bruised wrist.
"GAH! Yes!"
"I see...and this?"
"OUCH!"
"How about this?"
"STOP!" I smiled behind my mask.
"I'm sorry, was I being too rough?"
"Nothing's too rough for me!"
"Good...so, Admiral. I'm sure it must be frightening to be a super hero, what with all the villains about. Tell me about it."
"Fear? I don't even know what fear is!"
"Don't know what fear is? Well, what about that brilliant man who broke your wrist?"
"Dr. Diabolical? Oh, please. That guy couldn't smart his way out of a paper baaAAAUGH!"
"Ooops. I slipped."
"Anyway, That Diabolical Guy isn't nearly as smart as me. He should be glad I teeched him a lesson!"
"Yes...well, I think we should take an x-ray."
Hopping on the scale, I flipped the light switch three times and waited for my secret laboratory to emerge behind the medicine cabinet. "Follow me."

I thought the Admiral's eyes were going to pop out of their sockets as he walked behind me through the lab. "This is where we do our testing. We put the x-ray here so that it wouldn't give the workers cancer. Take off your shirt and lie down on this table."
This was just too easy.
"Now hold still while I strap you in."
"Why are you strapping me in so tight?"
"To make sure you don't move. No matter what happens."
My hands were beginning to shake in anticipation as I stuck monitors to his bare chest.
"What are those for?" His eyes were beginning to darken with realization.
"I want to hear every. last. heartbeat."
"This seems a little extravagant fo-mmph" by the time I had covered his mouth, my breath was coming in uncontrollable bursts.
"For an x-ray? Maybe a little. But I want to make sure nothing goes wrong."
He had realized his mistake. The heartbeat sped to an alarmingly satisfying rate. "Oh, dear." The surgical mask fluttered to the ground, revealing my manic grin.

"It appears we're going to have to operate."




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Yeah. Reading it again I'm having second thoughts about posting it at all. It really does fail. But, oh well. It was fun to write. I love prompts.

So, yeah. That's all.

Life as we know it

So, I had a dream the other day...it wasn't as cool as Britta's Ninja Theatre dream, but, you know, I have nothing else to write about.

So, a little background. My 'best friend since second grade' back home, Wendy, is training for the Olympics in cross country skiing (2010). She's pretty dang serious about it, too. She's at this boarding school that's all like, "We'll train you" and stuff.

Well, in my dream, apparently it was 2010 and Wendy made it. So, I began my trek to Canada so I could watch. As I was walking, this kid (who I apparently knew) runs up and starts trying to shoot me. I was like, "What the weird!" and ran. I go to hide at my home (Ha, he'll never find me there!)

Well, I guess I got tired of the Olympic idea because I went to school the next day. I was wearing that new Lolita-ish dress I had a tailor make for me a while ago in real life.(but it didn't quite turn out how I had hoped...) I was with this guy who was apparently my best friend when that gun guy shows up again! But this time he has a tazer gun. He tazers my friend who's all like, "Run!" and I turn around and tear up these stairs at high speed.

But the guy's still after me. This was a really scary scene. The guy was all, like, faster than me. So, he catches up and grabs me and whispers in a menacing voice, "Aw, what's wrong Amber? SCARED?" and he pushes me up a few steps so I keep running. He catches up and grabs me again and rips the back of my dress so the tazers would hit skin rather than cloth and he's like, "Don't like to be manhandled?!" and pushes me again. Then, I get away and I run out of the building and into this big open field. I keep running and he chases me. Then I jump into this river and try to swim accross really fast. When I get to the other side, he's already there, but he doesn't know that I am. He looks confused and is looking the other way like he lost me. So, I try to sneak really quietly back into the river but he hears me splash and looks at me. Then I woke up.

Soooo, apparently if Wendy goes to the Olympics, I'm going to be attacked by some crazy kid with a tazer gun on my trek to Canada.




Kay, so I FINALLY watched the Avatar fanale today (don't even make me describe how hard it was to get it). Eh-pic. Everything was like, "FWOOOSH!" and "WOOOAH!" and the fights were like "SWEESH!" and the jokes were all like, "HAAAA". Everything was so awesome it deserves to be capatalized.




Hm...what else? Oh, well, I've decided to draft this girl named Phoebe Lewis into our group. See, she's moving here and she's in theatre. I sent her a message on Facebook and she replied and she seems nice enough. Let's just hope she's not actually any good at theatre. My chances already seem to be whithering without a new threat. Unfortunatley for me, she has some pretty theatrical pictures on her Facebook. She looks experianced -_-'

Dream World!

So, yesterday I went to Dream World (amusement park) with Britta, Isa, and Ben. It was intense. First thing we see: Tour bus full of Chinese people. Second thing we see: Some guy with his socks pulled way up. Third thing we see: Not a ticket booth. There were these windows but they were all empty. So, as I liberally applied sunscreen, Ben wandered over to this little room labeled 'Information'. Yeah, you buy tickets there. Not the ticket booth. Don't be silly. It was an awful lot less for Thais, so we spent a while scrambling for our school IDs before we finally had the little bracelet things on. Then, it was time to enter!

We ran over to the entrance where there were these guys wearing bright orange and blue outfits standing under a big gate with all kinds of cogs and gears and castle things and other cartoony stuff was spinning around in greeting. As we walked through the gate, one of the guys in the oh-so-fashionable outfit greeted Britta with an oh-so-fashionable "Hi, beautiful"

Feeling oh-so-creeped out, we wandered into the love garden which looked rather suspiciously Alice and Wonderland-esque. Cute couples sat on benches taking cute pictures full of cute little hearts. And then there was some fat kid sitting alone on one of the benches and grimacing at his mother's camera.

The rides opened at 10:00. By which I mean, we went in at 10 and didn't get to ride anything until 10:30. The first ride we went on was called the Spider, and it was uber-fun. It was especially fun to watch the guy in the cart next to Britta and I frowning and glaring at us the whole time.

Then we went to Space Mountain, a clear rip of Disney Land's Space Mountain. It was quite fun and dark. And we screamed when these suddenly lit up above our heads unexpectedly. We went three times in a row before the Chinese tour group came and got in line. Then we left for this orange roller coaster (except, I could have gotten this chronologically wrong. Hard to say). It was the kind where you have your feet dangling and it was pretty fun. But the guy who was strapping people in kept staring at me with this creepy smile.

Then we saw this haunted house. We spent, like, an hour trying to convince Ben to go in, but he refused. So, Isa, Britta, and I went in feeling oh-so-brave. Until we saw that we would actually have to walk. Britta chickened out and left Isa and I to fend for ourselves. It was what you'd expect from a theme park haunted house. The gears of the fake monsters were louder than the scary music. But the fact that we were walking creeped us out. But in a different way than the entrance guy and the orange roller coaster guy. That was a more...slimy creepiness.

And the Pirate Ship! I love those things! But the second time we went on, there was this weird guy on the other side of the ship who, every time the ship would go up, made the sound of a howler monkey on steroids.

Then we went on the Super Splash! Our very own Splash Mountain rip-off...but shorter. Man, we got really wet. And then we went and stood where the wave would hit us when the other people would ride down. It was a big wave. Really. But we did miss out on the Grand Canyon (Rattlesnake Rapids for you Utahns). It was closed. Which sucks because I love those things.

And, of course, the FAIL RAIL! It was this monorail that went the speed of The Heber Creeper on a bad day. It was ridiculous. And the compartments were the size of a computer screen so our knees jammed into the seat across form us. It took us on a lovely tour so that we could see the air conditioners, a bucket, and the broken down Grand Canyon. And then there was the driver. He kept staring at us with these HUGE eyes. At this point I began to wonder if creepiness was in the job description. So, naturally, we went on the Fail Rail twice.

Other activities included the Giant House (A house that was giant. I think it was supposed to be the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk), an action show (there were these guys in SWAT uniforms and explosions and other testosterone filled stuff. I got endless amusement out of the graffiti on the wall. They had all these 'cool' things that made you think of rugged and hard core. And then there was a door (secret hideout entrance, perhaps?) with this stick-figure-esque thing with a mask appropriately labeled, 'bad'), and shaved ice (banana flavor was magical).

But the crowning moment for me was Snow Town. It cost an extra 150 baht, but was so worth it. It was basically this big fridge with ice that would pass as snow because the top was shaved a bit. According to the thermometer, it was -3.5 degrees Celsius. So it was jam-packed with all these people shivering in the corner. They had a little tubing hill that I just couldn't get enough of. Except at the bottom, there were these guys who were supposed to stop you from running into the wall. But they clearly haven't had a lot of experience with ice so whenever I went down, I either ran into the wall or had them stop me so forcefully I'd fly out of my tube. And the boots were funny. You had to wear their boots, because obviously, going into snow, you need boots. Except the boots were rain boots. Absolutely positively NO insulation. All boots are not created equal. I haven't been able to get such a full breath of air since the last time I had a winter, two years ago. I could have stayed all day. But everybody else was getting cold so we only stayed for, like, five minutes.

Then, at the end of the day, we realized how small the park was and how we'd already been on everything five times. So, Isa and I sat on a bench staring at people as they passed to see their reactions until it was time to go home. Ben and I went to Britta's and ate AMERICAN TOP RAMON!

It was the closest to an American day I've had in a long time.

E3

So, as many of you know, E3 is here. You know, the HUGEGANTIC gaming convention. It's awesome. Though, this year has been odd. Here's my rundown of the companies' press conferences:

Microsoft

So, pretty much the main idea of Microsoft was, "Take THAT, Sony!" They did a pretty good job this year. But the biggest shock was them taking Final Fantasy from Sony. Yep. Xbox 360 is releasing FFXIII. Crazy.

Sony

I think Sony had the best press conference this year. It just seemed to flow. I've never had a Sony System so it's hard for me to compare it to other years, but I thought most things they did were awesome. The biggest thing that caught my attention was their statistics. Rather than rambling on about them like Nintendo did, they put them in a level of one of the games they're releasing. It was a really clever way to get through the boring stuff.

Nintendo

I was pretty disappointed in Nintendo this year. Okay, majorly disappointed. Being a rabid Nintendo fangirl, I felt like this year they punched us (the core gamers) in the gut, left us sitting in the mud, and told us our moms said hi. I fear Nintendo may be compleatly deserting it's core gamers. I've been one of the people defending Nintendo's decision to market to casual gamers, but this was just too much.
Remember a year or two ago at the end of Nintendo's E3? Smoke and lights filled the auditorium, cool music flowed through the speakers, and Shiguru Miyamoto ran onstage with a Master Sword and shield. Yes, a new Zelda. The audiance burst into applause and jumped to their feet as everybody's favorite game designer proudly announced The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. It was awesome.
Now, fastforward to a few days ago. The audiance was half asleep from the LOOONG presentation of facts and figures when, once again, the lights dimmed. Smoke filled the auditorium and lights danced through the air. When suddenly, the lights revealed something on stage: Miyamoto in something awesome? No. Some guy with a mohawk waving the wiimote and nunchuck around like an idiot. Yes. Wiimusic. That was their big hook. It's a stupid toy (not a game) where you press random buttons and it playes music for you. Not like Guitar Hero. It requires no skill. You literally just press buttons.
The lady presenting a lot of it also got really annoying. Talking about puppies and hurting her wrist. It got old. Fast. And the smiling! They were just so...happy! They were like XD :D :) :>
Not to say everything was a blow. The new Animal Crossing looks pretty good. But it's just Animal Crossing. It doesn't really look all that different from the last ones. And the new addition to the Wiimote looks AWESOME. It's now causing 1:1 movement. Which, though the game they're releasing it on looks like more minigames targeted and soccer moms and children, has great possibilities for the future.
Also, after the press confrence, they announced the #1 awesome thing: Pikmin 3. Yes, they officially announced it now. But they didn't spend any time on it. Someone had to ask them, "Are you making another Pikmin?" and after debating if they could tell us or not said, "We're making Pikmin."

Live Journal

So, my friends have decided we can only look at each others' blogs if we're on the same website. And they've adopted livejournal. So, now I have two blogs. But they'll be the same. I'll just copy and paste my entries from one into the other. But I like this ones layout waaaay better. So...yeah. Here's my "livejournal" in case you want to look at it (I'm not sure why you would. I literally copied and pasted the entries on this one to that one)

http://bibliobhulabalo.livejournal.com/